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I loved school. It hurts so much that they made me leave.
Hate is disgusting.
Hate based on appearance, names, race, ethnicity, religion, whatever it may be, I don’t care. It’s disgusting.
At CVS tonight, my sister was talking to the cashier, who she knows/works with. He was telling her something about the man who was in line just before me. I didn’t see him; he was already leaving when I was walking up, and I tend to walk with my eyes looking at the floor. (I trip a lot, if I don’t.)
Next, I hear, “He’s an Iranian terrorist.” My head snaps up and I’m angrily sliding my debit card and punching in my pin by pure reflex alone as I stare at this truly ignorant boy in utter disgust. “That is so wrong. Don’t stereotype him that way—”
But the boy interrupted me. “Did you SEE what he LOOKED like?”
“No, and I don’t care. It doesn’t matter. How dare you call him a terrorist based on his appearance.” My sister isn’t trying to calm me. She knows I won’t be calmed. I see her out of the corner of my eye, motioning for the boy to drop the subject. Instead, he takes it further.
“His name is Mahmud.” He says it like it’ll make some sort of difference to me. Like it matters in some way.
“I’m sorry he has a name you don’t like, but that doesn’t make him a terrorist.” I take my receipt and my sister sees that I want to leave, but she’s brought food for her friend and we have to wait until he’s finished eating so we can bring the bowl and spoon home.
I can’t take it. I go to the car to wait. When my sister comes back, I apologize for making an awkward scene with her friend, but I am adamant that I do not apologize for what I said, nor will I. But she says it’s okay. “I apologized to him for you.”
The only thing that keeps me from going back inside to straighten everything out is the fact that my sister’s already pulled the car out of the parking lot and we’re halfway down the street.
The boy knows this man outside of this context. He used to date the man’s daughter. He was slightly frightened of the man, as a guy dating his daughter. But his entire basis for calling him a terrorist is his appearance and name.
It sickens me.
Does anyone watch the show What Would You Do? I do. That’s how I felt, for those few minutes. Like I was on a TV show. I’ve felt this way most of the week. Do people really behave this way?